First let me say, I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. My mind's been focused on so many other things that I haven't come up with anything to write here. But now I have, which is the reason for this post. So please read on.
Have you ever been challenged about your faith? Has an atheist or an agnostic ever asked you to prove God? What did you do? Did you blush, step back, and stammer, "I-I don't know, it's just what I believe"? Or did you have a comeback for them? Unfortunately most of the people I know respond the first way. This is not a good testimony to your Christian faith. This tells people, "Christians just believe blindly" which we should not be accused of.
Online I have been in quite a few debates like that. And you know what? Someone challenges my Christianity and I answer their argument. I believe what I believe and I can back it up. You know what happens? Most of the time they don't expect this and they either don't talk to me again or they insult me and say something like, "There is no God!" but it's only because I've just insulted their intelligence. I gave good evidence supporting my Christianity and they don't have any evidence that they're prepared with to fight back. So they insult me and decide to ignore my statement. I don't care. I've made my point. I've done my job. It's not my fault they can't answer back.
Occasionally, though, I get those that continue to debate with me, answering my argument with an argument of their own, to which I will proceed to counteract their argument.
I'm telling you right now, when you become a true Christian, whether you are a teenager or a Christian parent trying to teach your kids about God, you need to know how to defend your Christianity. You need to know how to survive a debate against your Christianity and defend yourself until there is nowhere else to go - and usually for me this happens on the challenger's side. If you do not know how to defend your Christianity, you are giving Christianity a bad name. Christians should not be ignorant bashful people who have blind faith.
So how do you survive and win a debate against Christianity? Here are some steps:
#1 - Know God's Word.
By this, I do not mean "know the major stories." People are not going to challenge you on David, or Joseph, or Samson, or Abraham. You should know these stories, mind you, but they will not help in a debate. They help after the person has become a Christian and they can see the faith of God's chosen in the old days. Read the Bible thoroughly and memorize certain scriptures, or at least the general area where they are and what they say. People will likely ask you things like, "God created gay people, so why is He opposed to them?", "Where in the Bible does it mention abortion?", and "How could a loving God send good people to hell?" These are scriptural questions. You need to have scripture to back them up. For example, for the first question, Romans 1:26-27 says that God gave the people over to their "shameful lusts", that man lied with man and were "punished for their perversion." Obviously this states God did not create gay people. Homosexuality is a sin and God did not create humans to sin. Humans sinned on their own. You should know the general area of this and what it says. You should also use some common sense. The word "abortion" is not used anywhere in the Bible. However, in Psalm 139, David talks about how God had a plan for him even while he was in the womb, how he was "fearfully and wonderfully made." If God has purposes for us all and we are "fearfully and wonderfully made," He obviously is pro-life. So know the scriptures. Memorize spots where you're pretty sure people will challenge you. Common areas are homosexuality, abortion, and the justice of God (ex. "How could a loving God do...").
#2 - Know Your Logical, Historical, And Scientific Evidence.
Knowing the Bible is essential for debate - but unfortunately, you need more than just that to defend yourself. 98% of all agnostics (and 100% of atheists) believe the Word of God is just a book of holes anyway - Scriptures are essential for when they ask what God thinks about a certain subject. When they say the Bible is full of holes, guess what? You need logical evidence, historical evidence, and scientific evidence to back up that it is, in fact, the Holy Word of God and it is to be trusted. You need to know why abortion is wrong other than "God doesn't like it." You need to back up Intelligent Design. You do this by finding out the good points of your argument, and the flaws in your opponents argument. You also need to know what areas they will challenge you on your argument. For example, "A fetus is part of a woman's body, so she has a right to get rid of it." You need to know what to say to that. Use logic. Use historical evidence. Use scientific evidence. Once you back up your point, those who will continue to debate with you are logically-minded and will oppose you using science. I'm telling you this is true, so you need to know how to back yourself up with science and logic. Study it. Know why your beliefs are true and know how to counteract your opponent's argument.
Note: This is ESSENTIAL when people ask you to "prove God." They're smug, because they know you cannot scientifically prove God. However, when you come back and ask them to scientifically prove Abraham Lincoln, they'll realize there are some things that do or did exist that they cannot prove scientifically. You read in history books about Abraham Lincoln, you hear eye-witnesses through generations, etc, and you know Abraham Lincoln existed. It's the same thing with Jesus Christ, and with those who experienced the power of God.
#3 - Leave Personal Attacks Out.
As a Christian, you need to expect people to attack you personally for your beliefs. If you say you believe homosexuality is a sin, expect people to call you the nastiest of names and start cussing you out and claiming you to be hateful. To this, you respond with your Biblical, historical, scientific, and logical evidence and thinking. You do not respond with personal attacks. No insults. Never, ever, ever respond in anything similar to this: "My faith is blind? Are you atheists too stupid to listen? Evidence is all around you, morons. If you don't know what you're talking about, just shut up and don't say anything." Subconsciously, they want you to do this. They're waiting for you to slip. They're looking for you to argue on their level. If they insult you, it's usually because they do not have the resources to argue back. Make sure you stay the intelligent one. Personal attacks are one of the worst testimonies to Christianity. Avoid it.
#4 - Study Your Opponent's Argument Carefully.
Most of the ones who continue to debate with you are not dumb people. They're lost people, but they're not dumb. They're very smart people and they've studied their argument well. They know their biology, they know their history, and they know how to ask questions. They will counteract your argument with valid logical points. Listen to their argument carefully and answer accordingly. Don't answer with a point that's not in the argument, and if possible, try to answer every major point they give. If you do not know something at the time and you are debating face to face, simply say, "I don't know that level of science (or whatever), but if you give me time, I will study on it and see if I can find that your point is absolutely correct." Then study it - you will usually find something you can counteract it with. Keep it in mind for your next debate. If you do not know something and you're online, research it before you answer.
#5 - Look For A Debate.
Practice makes perfect. If you study all this stuff and you only save it for when someone someday decides to walk up to you and challenge you, guess what? You might not remember half of it when that day comes. It's good to rehearse these situations in your mind, but even better than that, once you have your evidence, purposely look for a debate. This is not the same as "looking for a fight." You're not doing this to be offensive and to cause someone to be angry. Go online and find websites with forums where people can state their opinions. If someone states their points on why abortion is a good thing for women to do, answer them with your points. If someone says, "I don't believe in God, prove God exists," answer them. This is not looking for a fight, this is defending your faith. This is standing up for your God. This is telling the world, "I am a Christian and I am not ashamed of it. I am bold, I am brave, and I am ready for anything you want to throw at me. Go ahead - I'll throw it right back." Here's a Dodgeball analogy (I love to use analogies, and you should too, they help emphasize your point and put it in terms that are easier to understand): when your opposer chucks the ball at you, you're not going to cower and duck from it, neither are you going to get hit without any way to protect yourself. Instead you will catch it and you will chuck it back at them, whether they're ready or not. More likely than not, you'll hit them unprotected.
So here are some points to help you defend your faith. I hope you will never be accused of having blind faith. In fact, your opposer may even compliment you - a few of the people I have debated with have told me I am a very intelligent young woman and that I should never stop researching and asking questions.
So are you ready for your opposition?
Monday, December 22, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
A question...any advice?
I'm not really stuck in a bad situation. In fact, I'm rather content with the way things are right now. Works well for me. But I need some insight on this situation, just to make sure there's nothing iffy about it. Opinions are welcome.
Situation - my guy friend has recently been "bitten by the lovebug" for a girl at his school. I'm excited and happy for him - he is a very Godly gentleman who has kept himself pure, and it looks like he's picked out a very nice girl. However, I happen to be his best friend - and of course I'm a female. I'm 110% happy being his best friend - he trusts me the most with his secrets and feels comfortable talking to me about anything - including the girl he likes. I'm #1 on his MySpace list.
My question is, is this alright? He just asked this girl out, but I know he's not going to drop his friendship with me because that's all he sees me as - and vice versa. Do I need to back off for this girl? I don't flirt or anything, but how do things work when a guy has a girlfriend and a best friend who's also a girl?
Situation - my guy friend has recently been "bitten by the lovebug" for a girl at his school. I'm excited and happy for him - he is a very Godly gentleman who has kept himself pure, and it looks like he's picked out a very nice girl. However, I happen to be his best friend - and of course I'm a female. I'm 110% happy being his best friend - he trusts me the most with his secrets and feels comfortable talking to me about anything - including the girl he likes. I'm #1 on his MySpace list.
My question is, is this alright? He just asked this girl out, but I know he's not going to drop his friendship with me because that's all he sees me as - and vice versa. Do I need to back off for this girl? I don't flirt or anything, but how do things work when a guy has a girlfriend and a best friend who's also a girl?
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Sweet 16
This time in my life has been much anticipated for several years - the day I became 16 years old. (Which will officially occur on the 3rd). When I was little, I'd dream about how I'd look at age 16, and really I'd fantasize about it. The main thing was, at age 16 you were entitled to become pretty. It was just a given. When you turn 16, you're beautiful.
As I got older, the advantages that were promised for my 16th birthday excited me the most. At 16, you can drive (which I can only drive with a permit right now, but I can drive). I could also start wearing makeup, something I wished so badly I could do when I was 13, and nowadays I usually just apply some mascara and lip gloss and I'm good to go.
The biggest thing, though, was the fact that I could date at age 16. At age 11, it felt way too far away. Dating was my biggest focus. In all honesty, I was probably obsessed with it. It consumed my mind all the time. It led me to *almost* do some really stupid things, an example being where I nearly gave my first kiss away at age 12. (Today, I personally think 12 is way too young to be kissing).
I'm proud of myself right now, though. In two days, at 9:07pm, I'm going to pump my fists in the air and shriek, "Sweet 16 and never been kissed!" Because for me, it is an accomplishment. In a world where dating begins in kindergarten, kissing begins at 12, and the entire virginity is lost at 16, the fact that I am pure in every sense of the word is a big deal to me. It means I walked against the wind. I faced all the world's attacks and I won. The temptation was strong. I had the opportunity to date boys behind my parents' backs. If I really set my mind to it, I could've kissed a boy before now. But my parents said no dating until age 16, and I have not dated nor done anything else (kissing, cuddling, even holding hands) before then. I am completely pure. I am Sweet 16 and I have never been kissed and that sets me apart from most of the teenage world.
In all honesty, I'm not even sure I'm going to be kissed this year, and that's fine. It's not a meaningless thing that you just give away because you're allowed to now. I'll give it away when I know the time is right, whenever that is. I am a symbol of purity and I will be treated as such. I will not let someone steal it, nor will I give it away foolishly.
Anyhow, now that my thoughts on Sweet 16 are done, I'll give a brief overview of my Sweet 16th party, which I celebrated today. To say it was the best birthday party in my entire life is an understatement. It was absolutely incredible.
After waking up waaay late (I'm wondering if my parents let me sleep in or if they just forgot), taking a shower, and having a driving lesson with Dad, we started putting up the decorations. Because Sweet 16 is a big deal to me and it only comes around once, we went all out. We had balloons, streamers, banners, confetti, little spiral things that hang from the ceiling...the works. We completed it at the last minute - literally. Two minutes after we finished, the doorbell rang. I'd invited four of my closest friends, Beau, Katie, Porsha, and Lauren. Lauren called last minute to say she couldn't make it, but everything turned out alright.
When my friends arrived, I had my iHome playing music (mostly from all the different musicals I have on my iPod), and my friends and I had some cool conversations while we ate some of the candy we way overstocked on for Halloween. At 5:30, Mom called us in for dinner (she slaved away for almost 2 hours making the meal, because of course she's the best Mom ever... and you can't have her). She made baked pasta with cheese, fettucini, foccacia, French bread, salad...yummy. We had some nice conversations about what we wanted to do after we graduated, bad hotel experiences, and old Chinese torture methods over dinner. (Don't ask). Then Mom served the creampuffs - my favorite dessert which I only get on my birthday - and everyone sang Happy Birthday despite my protests. Still, I was so happy that I blew out the candle and forgot to make a wish. I guess I didn't need to.
Then some family friends stopped over and we talked with them for a little while. It was nice to see them. Then my friends and I all gathered in the living room to play the board game "Nightmare." You probably have never heard of this game - there's nothing like it. There is an interactive video you play with the board game. As the title of the game suggests, it's a game that's meant to scare the living pinfeathers out of you, which is what makes it so fun. You turn the lights down and the volume up, and you play the game with "the Gatekeeper," who appears randomly with a roll of thunder and plays his games with you. Your goal is to play in a certain way to not only beat your opponents, but to beat the Gatekeeper as well.
"Nightmare" was the highlight of the evening. The first time the Gatekeeper interrupted the clock and yelled, "STOP!", my friends and I all screamed, even Beau. We could not stop laughing and trembling through the rest of the game, jumping every time the Gatekeeper appeared. After the hour-long game was finished, the first thing Katie said was, "We need to take this on our next youth group retreat!" She even asked to borrow it sometime soon so her family could play it. It was incredible. We all had a blast.
After I opened presents and we took a few pictures, it was time for everyone to head home - and nobody wanted to leave. Unfortunately it was dark and time to get home, so I hugged them all goodbye and they left, still laughing about the "Nightmare" game.
So, my Sweet 16th party turned out better than I ever hoped it would. I'm not a fan of those big "invite everybody in the neighborhood" parties because my experience is, someone always gets left out and that person was usually me at those parties. So I wanted something small so we could be more intimate and personal, but still fun, and this was everything I wanted. It was amazing.
Thank You, God, for this amazing day. Thank You for letting me experience everything, and thank You for letting me stay pure this long. May I always live purely, and may I shine for You each and every day.
As I got older, the advantages that were promised for my 16th birthday excited me the most. At 16, you can drive (which I can only drive with a permit right now, but I can drive). I could also start wearing makeup, something I wished so badly I could do when I was 13, and nowadays I usually just apply some mascara and lip gloss and I'm good to go.
The biggest thing, though, was the fact that I could date at age 16. At age 11, it felt way too far away. Dating was my biggest focus. In all honesty, I was probably obsessed with it. It consumed my mind all the time. It led me to *almost* do some really stupid things, an example being where I nearly gave my first kiss away at age 12. (Today, I personally think 12 is way too young to be kissing).
I'm proud of myself right now, though. In two days, at 9:07pm, I'm going to pump my fists in the air and shriek, "Sweet 16 and never been kissed!" Because for me, it is an accomplishment. In a world where dating begins in kindergarten, kissing begins at 12, and the entire virginity is lost at 16, the fact that I am pure in every sense of the word is a big deal to me. It means I walked against the wind. I faced all the world's attacks and I won. The temptation was strong. I had the opportunity to date boys behind my parents' backs. If I really set my mind to it, I could've kissed a boy before now. But my parents said no dating until age 16, and I have not dated nor done anything else (kissing, cuddling, even holding hands) before then. I am completely pure. I am Sweet 16 and I have never been kissed and that sets me apart from most of the teenage world.
In all honesty, I'm not even sure I'm going to be kissed this year, and that's fine. It's not a meaningless thing that you just give away because you're allowed to now. I'll give it away when I know the time is right, whenever that is. I am a symbol of purity and I will be treated as such. I will not let someone steal it, nor will I give it away foolishly.
Anyhow, now that my thoughts on Sweet 16 are done, I'll give a brief overview of my Sweet 16th party, which I celebrated today. To say it was the best birthday party in my entire life is an understatement. It was absolutely incredible.
After waking up waaay late (I'm wondering if my parents let me sleep in or if they just forgot), taking a shower, and having a driving lesson with Dad, we started putting up the decorations. Because Sweet 16 is a big deal to me and it only comes around once, we went all out. We had balloons, streamers, banners, confetti, little spiral things that hang from the ceiling...the works. We completed it at the last minute - literally. Two minutes after we finished, the doorbell rang. I'd invited four of my closest friends, Beau, Katie, Porsha, and Lauren. Lauren called last minute to say she couldn't make it, but everything turned out alright.
When my friends arrived, I had my iHome playing music (mostly from all the different musicals I have on my iPod), and my friends and I had some cool conversations while we ate some of the candy we way overstocked on for Halloween. At 5:30, Mom called us in for dinner (she slaved away for almost 2 hours making the meal, because of course she's the best Mom ever... and you can't have her). She made baked pasta with cheese, fettucini, foccacia, French bread, salad...yummy. We had some nice conversations about what we wanted to do after we graduated, bad hotel experiences, and old Chinese torture methods over dinner. (Don't ask). Then Mom served the creampuffs - my favorite dessert which I only get on my birthday - and everyone sang Happy Birthday despite my protests. Still, I was so happy that I blew out the candle and forgot to make a wish. I guess I didn't need to.
Then some family friends stopped over and we talked with them for a little while. It was nice to see them. Then my friends and I all gathered in the living room to play the board game "Nightmare." You probably have never heard of this game - there's nothing like it. There is an interactive video you play with the board game. As the title of the game suggests, it's a game that's meant to scare the living pinfeathers out of you, which is what makes it so fun. You turn the lights down and the volume up, and you play the game with "the Gatekeeper," who appears randomly with a roll of thunder and plays his games with you. Your goal is to play in a certain way to not only beat your opponents, but to beat the Gatekeeper as well.
"Nightmare" was the highlight of the evening. The first time the Gatekeeper interrupted the clock and yelled, "STOP!", my friends and I all screamed, even Beau. We could not stop laughing and trembling through the rest of the game, jumping every time the Gatekeeper appeared. After the hour-long game was finished, the first thing Katie said was, "We need to take this on our next youth group retreat!" She even asked to borrow it sometime soon so her family could play it. It was incredible. We all had a blast.
After I opened presents and we took a few pictures, it was time for everyone to head home - and nobody wanted to leave. Unfortunately it was dark and time to get home, so I hugged them all goodbye and they left, still laughing about the "Nightmare" game.
So, my Sweet 16th party turned out better than I ever hoped it would. I'm not a fan of those big "invite everybody in the neighborhood" parties because my experience is, someone always gets left out and that person was usually me at those parties. So I wanted something small so we could be more intimate and personal, but still fun, and this was everything I wanted. It was amazing.
Thank You, God, for this amazing day. Thank You for letting me experience everything, and thank You for letting me stay pure this long. May I always live purely, and may I shine for You each and every day.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Hidden addiction
Last Sunday was a great day. My youth group (called Refuge) had their official "kick off" ceremony (even though we'd started up a few weeks before). They decided to theme it after the Olympics. It was great. We split off into teams, created flags, and named our own countries/people (my team was named the "Peculiars"..I came up with it myself). We shot basketballs, had a "suck-the-jello-out-of-a-bottle" contest, matching up Bible verses and completing a jigsaw Bible verse puzzle, a wild variation of volleyball, and an obstacle course, to name a few "events". (My youth group always comes up with uber-crazy activities to do...but that's okay, most of the kids at my youth group are uber-crazy themselves). Afterwards we cooked hot dogs by a fire, went for hayrides, even had a ceremonial couch-burning (it was an old couch). It was an exciting day for me.
However, I'd noticed a guy friend of mine looking pretty down. He tried to hide it, but frequently he would just stare off into space and misery would cloud over his face. Seeing as he's a pretty laidback carefree guy, I only assumed one thing: something happened between he and his girlfriend.
It really made me feel upset too. Somehow his hurt transferred over to me. I asked him a couple times if he was okay and he said yes. I decided not to push it beyond that. Guys don't typically like to talk about emotions, and he's the kind where, once he decides he's not going to tell you, you'd have better luck getting an answer from a brick wall. He keeps himself very closed, which drives me nuts because I love to help people. Compassion is one of my gifts. When other people hurt, I hurt, and it stays until I know they feel better. Almost every one of my friends comes to me when they have to talk about something deep (both girls and guys alike). They know I listen well and give the best advice (which is the result of God speaking through me, not me speaking through myself...sometimes I don't even remember the advice I gave them, yet it made their entire day). They know I care and I don't listen to secrets just so I have the knowledge. If a secret needs to be kept, they know I will keep it. I have established that kind of a reputation.
However, I am still guilty of indulging in something most teen girls (and even older women) are addicted to. It's not alcohol. It's not drugs. It's not cigarettes. It's not sex.
It's gossip.
Now you may think that clashes with my statement up there, but there are actually 3 kinds of gossips: the ones who spread it, the ones who listen to it, and the ones who do both. I happen to be guilty of being the second kind of gossip, the one who doesn't spread it and doesn't tell other people's secrets, but definitely wants to know what they are.
This treads a fine line with me because I don't like to hear gossip to "be in the know," per se. I really do want to help people, and if I understand what's going on about them better, then I can help them better. If I know what's really wrong with my guy friend, then I can sympathize and talk to him about it. I can really be there for him. I can really understand him.
It's still wrong though. The book of Proverbs hammers this in several chapters. "A gossip spreads secrets." "A gossip's words are like choice morsels: they go down to a man's inmost parts." "A gossip cannot be trusted." It doesn't say, "Gossip is okay if you mean to help the other person." I have to constantly remind myself that, if the person wants me to help them, they will come to me and tell me what's going on. I do not need to be learning from another source.
Last Sunday was great...until the hayride. I was squeezed between another guy friend and a girl who's a notorious gossip. My depressed guy friend was sitting about five or six people away, staring into the distance. I could see my other guy friend and the girl next to me staring at him. I knew they would say something.
And they did. Immediately secrets I'd never heard before came pouring out. Conflicts. Set ups. Jealousy. I heard it all. At first, I thought, "Oh, how horrible. No wonder he's upset. Now i get it." But as the talk continued, this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach appeared. Suddenly I began to feel miserable. I began to feel embarrassed. I began to feel guilty. The voice in my soul urged me, "Speak up now. Speak up now." The voice was so strong. I opened my mouth...
..and then closed it again. I let them talk. I kept listening. I felt defeated, but I still didn't speak up. Finally someone else asked what they were talking about. My guy friend said, "Oh, just gossiping." My voice came out weak as I said, "Which we should probably stop." My friend and the other girl agreed, but by then, it was too late. I'd pretty much heard the entire story. I wish so bad that I would've spoken up. I remember glancing at my guy friend, the topic of the gossip, as secrets were being spilled about him. He was still looking away. Now I can only imagine how he would've felt if he'd heard everything that was said about him behind his back - and how I, his friend, did not speak up for him.
Since that moment, I have prayed for God's forgiveness and for His help to stand up next time. I know that I have no problem with spreading gossip, but I have a horrible addiction to listening to it. It's wrong. It's just as bad an addiction as alcohol or drugs - only with alcohol and drugs, you're mostly destroying yourself. With gossip, you're mostly destroying other people. You're using words that they didn't give you permission to use about them. You're taking their secrets and "confiding" in other people just to show what you know. There's a Proverb that goes, "A gossip separates close friends." That goes for both the spreader and the listener. If you do not stand up for your friend while they are being gossiped about, what kind of friend are you? You're just as much a backstabber as the spreader.
Dear Lord, may the guilt I felt on Sunday always be a reminder to not associate with gossip. I will never forget how guilty and how terrible I felt after listening to all of that, and I know that the Holy Spirit was working in me that day. Please let me stand up for my friends and put a stop to gossip before it reaches my ears. Let me not listen to anything I should not be listening to. Help me to be trustworthy. Help me to be the greatest friend I can be. Help me not to engage in gossip.
Amen.
However, I'd noticed a guy friend of mine looking pretty down. He tried to hide it, but frequently he would just stare off into space and misery would cloud over his face. Seeing as he's a pretty laidback carefree guy, I only assumed one thing: something happened between he and his girlfriend.
It really made me feel upset too. Somehow his hurt transferred over to me. I asked him a couple times if he was okay and he said yes. I decided not to push it beyond that. Guys don't typically like to talk about emotions, and he's the kind where, once he decides he's not going to tell you, you'd have better luck getting an answer from a brick wall. He keeps himself very closed, which drives me nuts because I love to help people. Compassion is one of my gifts. When other people hurt, I hurt, and it stays until I know they feel better. Almost every one of my friends comes to me when they have to talk about something deep (both girls and guys alike). They know I listen well and give the best advice (which is the result of God speaking through me, not me speaking through myself...sometimes I don't even remember the advice I gave them, yet it made their entire day). They know I care and I don't listen to secrets just so I have the knowledge. If a secret needs to be kept, they know I will keep it. I have established that kind of a reputation.
However, I am still guilty of indulging in something most teen girls (and even older women) are addicted to. It's not alcohol. It's not drugs. It's not cigarettes. It's not sex.
It's gossip.
Now you may think that clashes with my statement up there, but there are actually 3 kinds of gossips: the ones who spread it, the ones who listen to it, and the ones who do both. I happen to be guilty of being the second kind of gossip, the one who doesn't spread it and doesn't tell other people's secrets, but definitely wants to know what they are.
This treads a fine line with me because I don't like to hear gossip to "be in the know," per se. I really do want to help people, and if I understand what's going on about them better, then I can help them better. If I know what's really wrong with my guy friend, then I can sympathize and talk to him about it. I can really be there for him. I can really understand him.
It's still wrong though. The book of Proverbs hammers this in several chapters. "A gossip spreads secrets." "A gossip's words are like choice morsels: they go down to a man's inmost parts." "A gossip cannot be trusted." It doesn't say, "Gossip is okay if you mean to help the other person." I have to constantly remind myself that, if the person wants me to help them, they will come to me and tell me what's going on. I do not need to be learning from another source.
Last Sunday was great...until the hayride. I was squeezed between another guy friend and a girl who's a notorious gossip. My depressed guy friend was sitting about five or six people away, staring into the distance. I could see my other guy friend and the girl next to me staring at him. I knew they would say something.
And they did. Immediately secrets I'd never heard before came pouring out. Conflicts. Set ups. Jealousy. I heard it all. At first, I thought, "Oh, how horrible. No wonder he's upset. Now i get it." But as the talk continued, this empty feeling in the pit of my stomach appeared. Suddenly I began to feel miserable. I began to feel embarrassed. I began to feel guilty. The voice in my soul urged me, "Speak up now. Speak up now." The voice was so strong. I opened my mouth...
..and then closed it again. I let them talk. I kept listening. I felt defeated, but I still didn't speak up. Finally someone else asked what they were talking about. My guy friend said, "Oh, just gossiping." My voice came out weak as I said, "Which we should probably stop." My friend and the other girl agreed, but by then, it was too late. I'd pretty much heard the entire story. I wish so bad that I would've spoken up. I remember glancing at my guy friend, the topic of the gossip, as secrets were being spilled about him. He was still looking away. Now I can only imagine how he would've felt if he'd heard everything that was said about him behind his back - and how I, his friend, did not speak up for him.
Since that moment, I have prayed for God's forgiveness and for His help to stand up next time. I know that I have no problem with spreading gossip, but I have a horrible addiction to listening to it. It's wrong. It's just as bad an addiction as alcohol or drugs - only with alcohol and drugs, you're mostly destroying yourself. With gossip, you're mostly destroying other people. You're using words that they didn't give you permission to use about them. You're taking their secrets and "confiding" in other people just to show what you know. There's a Proverb that goes, "A gossip separates close friends." That goes for both the spreader and the listener. If you do not stand up for your friend while they are being gossiped about, what kind of friend are you? You're just as much a backstabber as the spreader.
Dear Lord, may the guilt I felt on Sunday always be a reminder to not associate with gossip. I will never forget how guilty and how terrible I felt after listening to all of that, and I know that the Holy Spirit was working in me that day. Please let me stand up for my friends and put a stop to gossip before it reaches my ears. Let me not listen to anything I should not be listening to. Help me to be trustworthy. Help me to be the greatest friend I can be. Help me not to engage in gossip.
Amen.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
A Letter From The Heart - 9/29/08
Dear God,
I know You can read my heart and hear my prayers, but for me, right now I really need to get this prayer to You down on paper. For one thing, I really express myself with words, for another, I may need to read this letter later when I inevitably fall into the same misery.
I've always known the verse, "Delight inthe Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Obviously You know the desire of my heart: love and affection from a man. Now You know I'm not weak and needy and I don't need a boyfriend to be confident or happy and whatnot. My confidence comes from you (otherwise I ain't got any). I am who I am because of You. You are everything. You are amazing. And I don't need a boy to "complete" me because I am already completed in You. I know that.
Still, You do see the desire of my heart. I am almost 16 years old and I have never held hands, been asked out, anything. Sometimes I wonder if I'm attractive to anyone. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not pretty and that's why no one's responding to me. I won't lie (You'd know if I did anyway): I'd love to feel the warmth of a kiss. I've never gotten one. It gets so difficult sometimes because I have always wanted this, I have always had this desire for intimacy with a guy.
Of course I'm not shallow and I don't want a shallow relationship. I want a man after Your heart (darn, are those dudes attractive). A man who lives boldly and out loud for You...wow. I couldn't imagine settling for someone who's not seeking and following You.
But I do want that intimacy. Tonight was really hard. It overwhelmed me. I know You can see my heart. It hurt. Particularly because I do delight in You and I was unhappy that Your timing for my heart's desire was taking too long for me. This is seriously everything I long for on this earth, that kind of love and affection from a guy.
Then I grabbed 3 Bibles: my Teen Study one, a KJV one, and the NIV my Dad got for me. And I found Psalm 37, which has that "delight in the Lord" verse. I read the whole thing through slowly, letting it all sink in.
Alright. You got me, Lord. You got me. Again. There are 3 verses that stood out for me: "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart...be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him."
So, God, I know You revealed stuff to me (like how it helps to read the entire chapter instead of just a verse...I know You're laughing and saying "duh"). First of all, I need to trust in You, which is something I admit I don't take seriously half the time. I mean, I trust You, but then I get antsy cuz Your timing isn't what I want it to be. That's not trust. I looked it up, the definition of "trust" is "reliance on another." I have to rely on You. I have trust issues, but that's my problem. You always keep Your promises, and I beg You to destroy these fears in me that tell me somehow You will let me down. It's not about me, God. I really, truly trust You now. It is out of my control. This is all Yours now.
Next, "do good" isn't really that difficult for me. I feel so odd saying that because everyone else seems to struggle with doing the right thing, but...I don't know. It's not real hard for me to stand up for what's right or "do good." My confidence is in You, so I can't fail.
The next verse about dwelling in the land really smacked me because as I read it, it was almost as if the words morphed to apply to my situation before it hit my brain. What I heard was, "Enjoy the safety and the comfort you are living in. You have never had to deal with a bad relationship, breakups, and no boy has even damaged the outer layer of your purity because I have protected you." That's amazing. You have given me a "safe pasture to enjoy."
And of course, the "delight in the Lord" verse I know. But the next one got me. "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." I once had to practice a vocal song for my music teacher based pretty much on those verses, only it used "rest in the Lord" instead of "be still." But, yeah, I get it now: I must wait for Your timing (I learned that with the Headache Trial way back then, but You know me...I'm so compartmentalized, I learned to wait for Your timing for physical pain...emotional pain is another story). You know what You're doing. You know my life better than I do. I know You will keep Your promise and give me the desire of my heart, but it will be in Your time. In the meantime, I will be still before You and wait patiently.
Funny how I feel oodles better and my heart doesn't hurt anymore - the Bible has a way of solving any problem. God, thanks for writing it for me. I'd honestly be lost without it. And thanks for the different versons - they help me understand some things better.
Thanks for what You did tonight, God. Help me live out what You taught me. I love You. I seriously do.
-Rachel
I know You can read my heart and hear my prayers, but for me, right now I really need to get this prayer to You down on paper. For one thing, I really express myself with words, for another, I may need to read this letter later when I inevitably fall into the same misery.
I've always known the verse, "Delight inthe Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Obviously You know the desire of my heart: love and affection from a man. Now You know I'm not weak and needy and I don't need a boyfriend to be confident or happy and whatnot. My confidence comes from you (otherwise I ain't got any). I am who I am because of You. You are everything. You are amazing. And I don't need a boy to "complete" me because I am already completed in You. I know that.
Still, You do see the desire of my heart. I am almost 16 years old and I have never held hands, been asked out, anything. Sometimes I wonder if I'm attractive to anyone. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not pretty and that's why no one's responding to me. I won't lie (You'd know if I did anyway): I'd love to feel the warmth of a kiss. I've never gotten one. It gets so difficult sometimes because I have always wanted this, I have always had this desire for intimacy with a guy.
Of course I'm not shallow and I don't want a shallow relationship. I want a man after Your heart (darn, are those dudes attractive). A man who lives boldly and out loud for You...wow. I couldn't imagine settling for someone who's not seeking and following You.
But I do want that intimacy. Tonight was really hard. It overwhelmed me. I know You can see my heart. It hurt. Particularly because I do delight in You and I was unhappy that Your timing for my heart's desire was taking too long for me. This is seriously everything I long for on this earth, that kind of love and affection from a guy.
Then I grabbed 3 Bibles: my Teen Study one, a KJV one, and the NIV my Dad got for me. And I found Psalm 37, which has that "delight in the Lord" verse. I read the whole thing through slowly, letting it all sink in.
Alright. You got me, Lord. You got me. Again. There are 3 verses that stood out for me: "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart...be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him."
So, God, I know You revealed stuff to me (like how it helps to read the entire chapter instead of just a verse...I know You're laughing and saying "duh"). First of all, I need to trust in You, which is something I admit I don't take seriously half the time. I mean, I trust You, but then I get antsy cuz Your timing isn't what I want it to be. That's not trust. I looked it up, the definition of "trust" is "reliance on another." I have to rely on You. I have trust issues, but that's my problem. You always keep Your promises, and I beg You to destroy these fears in me that tell me somehow You will let me down. It's not about me, God. I really, truly trust You now. It is out of my control. This is all Yours now.
Next, "do good" isn't really that difficult for me. I feel so odd saying that because everyone else seems to struggle with doing the right thing, but...I don't know. It's not real hard for me to stand up for what's right or "do good." My confidence is in You, so I can't fail.
The next verse about dwelling in the land really smacked me because as I read it, it was almost as if the words morphed to apply to my situation before it hit my brain. What I heard was, "Enjoy the safety and the comfort you are living in. You have never had to deal with a bad relationship, breakups, and no boy has even damaged the outer layer of your purity because I have protected you." That's amazing. You have given me a "safe pasture to enjoy."
And of course, the "delight in the Lord" verse I know. But the next one got me. "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." I once had to practice a vocal song for my music teacher based pretty much on those verses, only it used "rest in the Lord" instead of "be still." But, yeah, I get it now: I must wait for Your timing (I learned that with the Headache Trial way back then, but You know me...I'm so compartmentalized, I learned to wait for Your timing for physical pain...emotional pain is another story). You know what You're doing. You know my life better than I do. I know You will keep Your promise and give me the desire of my heart, but it will be in Your time. In the meantime, I will be still before You and wait patiently.
Funny how I feel oodles better and my heart doesn't hurt anymore - the Bible has a way of solving any problem. God, thanks for writing it for me. I'd honestly be lost without it. And thanks for the different versons - they help me understand some things better.
Thanks for what You did tonight, God. Help me live out what You taught me. I love You. I seriously do.
-Rachel
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Learning more about myself than I first thought
There I was sitting, on the couch, a miserable expression on my face. My soul was downcast. My heart was ripping. I felt like the world was about to end. Oh, how I would throw myself off the nearest bridge if I could. The torture, the pain, the sadness. All too much for me to bear.
"Ah, the tragedy of unrequitted love," you sigh for me.
"Why, no," I would reply. "It's the tragedy of algebra."
Algebra is indeed a tragedy for me. I cannot stand the subject (nor can I stand geography and biology, so you may be hearing about those later). I don't get it, nor do I get why I need to learn it. I'm going to be a music major. True, there is math in music. For instance, you have to count beats. How difficult...for a kindergartener.
Mom tries to shoot me this phony baloney about, "You'll need it in adulthood." Then I ask her for some help on a particular concept, she stares at it for a while, then says, "I don't know" and goes to fetch the teacher's manual.
Obviously if Mom used it throughout her adult life, it would still be fresh in her brain, correct? So why do I have to learn it? "It makes you well-rounded." I want to be a musician, not a nuclear scientist, do I need to know algebra and plotting lines on graphs? "No, but it's good for you." Why do I need to do it? "To get into college."
Whoever came up with that standard should be shot.
"I think you have a little bit of a perfectionist streak in you," Mom tells me.
"I do not," I say as tears well up in my eyes because I'm not getting a concept I'd already learned.
Yes, it does frustrate me that I seem to be getting more B's than A's right now. Mom tells me I should either suck it up or figure out how to work for those A's.
But I don't wanna work for them, I want them to come naturally like they always did.
My mind flashes back to when I was 10-years-old. I wrote angrily in my diary, "Dear Diary, I HATE TODAY!! I forgot how to do my double-digit multiplication!"
Oh lordy, why did those days have to end?
Sure, I got aggravated, but I always got A's. It just came naturally. No matter what subject, I just got A's. It was guaranteed (except botany in 4th grade, in which I failed the entire subject with a resounding F). It irritates me that I can't just make A's naturally anymore. I have to work to get my A's now.
I have learned more about myself from this, although I didn't know there was anything else about me to learn. It is true I have a laidback, optimistic, easy-going personality when it comes to most things. I keep a level head in times of panic so I always remember what to do, I can take on surprise situations, I'm the most patient of my family (you ought to see how they stir while waiting for the Internet server to come up 30 seconds after they click it while I simply wait it out, because it's not a big deal, I know it'll come up eventually). I also drive my little brother (who's a little on the pessimistic side) insane with my philosophies. (Example: he wants to throw his Nintendo controller out the window, rip his bed apart, and smash his fist through the TV screen when Mario doesn't jump for the 80th time, and then he wants to rip me apart when I tell him, "It's just a game, besides you can always try again.").
For that reason, I have always denied the fact that I have a perfectionist streak in me. My insides would moan, "Nooo! It's not true!" But I have to accept the fact now that, yes, it is. When it comes to my grades and my music, I am extremely perfectionistic. (Is that a word?) And the thing is, I hate perfectionism (I don't think that's a word either). It drives me nuts when people want things absolutely perfect. My Dad is an extreme perfectionist and it drives me nuts. My little brother is also a perfectionist, and when you mix it with pessimism, that's a double whammy. It seems to me his video games are what makes him the angriest, but he still insists on playing them and I don't get it.
So why do the school subjects I'm not so good at irritate me so much? Because I hate perfectionism and when it comes to those subjects, I'm a perfectionist. I get so irritated at myself because I know it's not a big deal, it's just a math test, a B is a good grade. But I want it to be perfect! And then my other side says, But I hate perfectionists!
This conflict is going to drive me insane until I graduate college and don't have to worry about grades. It's good to finally understand why algebra and biology and geography bother me so much. I might be able to think of a counterattack now.
Which brings me to prayer....
"Ah, the tragedy of unrequitted love," you sigh for me.
"Why, no," I would reply. "It's the tragedy of algebra."
Algebra is indeed a tragedy for me. I cannot stand the subject (nor can I stand geography and biology, so you may be hearing about those later). I don't get it, nor do I get why I need to learn it. I'm going to be a music major. True, there is math in music. For instance, you have to count beats. How difficult...for a kindergartener.
Mom tries to shoot me this phony baloney about, "You'll need it in adulthood." Then I ask her for some help on a particular concept, she stares at it for a while, then says, "I don't know" and goes to fetch the teacher's manual.
Obviously if Mom used it throughout her adult life, it would still be fresh in her brain, correct? So why do I have to learn it? "It makes you well-rounded." I want to be a musician, not a nuclear scientist, do I need to know algebra and plotting lines on graphs? "No, but it's good for you." Why do I need to do it? "To get into college."
Whoever came up with that standard should be shot.
"I think you have a little bit of a perfectionist streak in you," Mom tells me.
"I do not," I say as tears well up in my eyes because I'm not getting a concept I'd already learned.
Yes, it does frustrate me that I seem to be getting more B's than A's right now. Mom tells me I should either suck it up or figure out how to work for those A's.
But I don't wanna work for them, I want them to come naturally like they always did.
My mind flashes back to when I was 10-years-old. I wrote angrily in my diary, "Dear Diary, I HATE TODAY!! I forgot how to do my double-digit multiplication!"
Oh lordy, why did those days have to end?
Sure, I got aggravated, but I always got A's. It just came naturally. No matter what subject, I just got A's. It was guaranteed (except botany in 4th grade, in which I failed the entire subject with a resounding F). It irritates me that I can't just make A's naturally anymore. I have to work to get my A's now.
I have learned more about myself from this, although I didn't know there was anything else about me to learn. It is true I have a laidback, optimistic, easy-going personality when it comes to most things. I keep a level head in times of panic so I always remember what to do, I can take on surprise situations, I'm the most patient of my family (you ought to see how they stir while waiting for the Internet server to come up 30 seconds after they click it while I simply wait it out, because it's not a big deal, I know it'll come up eventually). I also drive my little brother (who's a little on the pessimistic side) insane with my philosophies. (Example: he wants to throw his Nintendo controller out the window, rip his bed apart, and smash his fist through the TV screen when Mario doesn't jump for the 80th time, and then he wants to rip me apart when I tell him, "It's just a game, besides you can always try again.").
For that reason, I have always denied the fact that I have a perfectionist streak in me. My insides would moan, "Nooo! It's not true!" But I have to accept the fact now that, yes, it is. When it comes to my grades and my music, I am extremely perfectionistic. (Is that a word?) And the thing is, I hate perfectionism (I don't think that's a word either). It drives me nuts when people want things absolutely perfect. My Dad is an extreme perfectionist and it drives me nuts. My little brother is also a perfectionist, and when you mix it with pessimism, that's a double whammy. It seems to me his video games are what makes him the angriest, but he still insists on playing them and I don't get it.
So why do the school subjects I'm not so good at irritate me so much? Because I hate perfectionism and when it comes to those subjects, I'm a perfectionist. I get so irritated at myself because I know it's not a big deal, it's just a math test, a B is a good grade. But I want it to be perfect! And then my other side says, But I hate perfectionists!
This conflict is going to drive me insane until I graduate college and don't have to worry about grades. It's good to finally understand why algebra and biology and geography bother me so much. I might be able to think of a counterattack now.
Which brings me to prayer....
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
One body, many parts
Earlier today during school, I checked my agenda to see what I had next to do. I swallowed as the words "Geography Test" screamed out at me.
1 1/2 weeks into the school year, I have decided that geography is my least favorite subject so far. It just bores me. I'm never going to visit 99% of these countries, so I really don't see the point in being able to know all those teeny tiny countries I've never heard about. I know the general area of these places. You ask me where anything that ends in "stan" is, I know it's in the Middle East.
However, my younger brother (I can't say little brother anymore cuz he's now taller than I am) loves it. It's his favorite. You can ask him where anything is and he'll tell you.
Mom decided to take a little different approach for the geography test (James and I were taking the same test at the same time). She made it into a competitive game. She brought a bell down, placed it on the coffee table, and had me and James stand in the doorway several feet away. I knew I wasn't going to like this. Mom explained the rules: she would ask a question and whoever knew the answer had to ring the bell first and answer it.
Well, this is nice.
Half the stuff I'd learned flew from my mind as the questions were read off. The only couple times I did ring the bell was when James let me out of pity. I didn't enjoy the game at all and I felt frustrated beyond belief when it was finished. Why was my younger brother smarter than me? Why couldn't I grasp geography? Why did he seem like an absolute genius compared to me? And why did Mom pit him against me when she had to know how much better he was than me?
In other words, I felt miserable. I felt stupid. I felt embarrassed for feeling miserable and stupid. Why did it have to be this way?
Then God smacked me over the head. Rachel. Obviously I have not gifted you in geography. I gave you the gift of music. Quit being jealous.
Of course. While James smoked my butt in the geography test, he can retain just as much about music as I can about geography. I don't know which country is Niger, and he doesn't know how many flats are in the B flat scale. I can't remember what the sea in the Atlantic Ocean is (James keeps telling me it's Sargasso, but I keep thinking Sargento...then Mom tells me that's a cheese), and he doesn't know what Adante Moderato means.
The body of Christ has many parts. And I have to get it into my head that I can't be all the parts all at once. Not to say I shouldn't try (because I have to complete geography in order to complete 10th grade), but it's not my best subject and that's okay. God gifted me in music. So I shouldn't have been so selfish during the game. I should've been happy for James - he obviously enjoyed it.
One body. Many parts. Something I think a lot of us have to accept.
1 1/2 weeks into the school year, I have decided that geography is my least favorite subject so far. It just bores me. I'm never going to visit 99% of these countries, so I really don't see the point in being able to know all those teeny tiny countries I've never heard about. I know the general area of these places. You ask me where anything that ends in "stan" is, I know it's in the Middle East.
However, my younger brother (I can't say little brother anymore cuz he's now taller than I am) loves it. It's his favorite. You can ask him where anything is and he'll tell you.
Mom decided to take a little different approach for the geography test (James and I were taking the same test at the same time). She made it into a competitive game. She brought a bell down, placed it on the coffee table, and had me and James stand in the doorway several feet away. I knew I wasn't going to like this. Mom explained the rules: she would ask a question and whoever knew the answer had to ring the bell first and answer it.
Well, this is nice.
Half the stuff I'd learned flew from my mind as the questions were read off. The only couple times I did ring the bell was when James let me out of pity. I didn't enjoy the game at all and I felt frustrated beyond belief when it was finished. Why was my younger brother smarter than me? Why couldn't I grasp geography? Why did he seem like an absolute genius compared to me? And why did Mom pit him against me when she had to know how much better he was than me?
In other words, I felt miserable. I felt stupid. I felt embarrassed for feeling miserable and stupid. Why did it have to be this way?
Then God smacked me over the head. Rachel. Obviously I have not gifted you in geography. I gave you the gift of music. Quit being jealous.
Of course. While James smoked my butt in the geography test, he can retain just as much about music as I can about geography. I don't know which country is Niger, and he doesn't know how many flats are in the B flat scale. I can't remember what the sea in the Atlantic Ocean is (James keeps telling me it's Sargasso, but I keep thinking Sargento...then Mom tells me that's a cheese), and he doesn't know what Adante Moderato means.
The body of Christ has many parts. And I have to get it into my head that I can't be all the parts all at once. Not to say I shouldn't try (because I have to complete geography in order to complete 10th grade), but it's not my best subject and that's okay. God gifted me in music. So I shouldn't have been so selfish during the game. I should've been happy for James - he obviously enjoyed it.
One body. Many parts. Something I think a lot of us have to accept.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
